Why Russians, Options Of Introduction, and How To Go About It

Facts of life

There are a few facts of life that are listed below and which we would rather not interpret here - but which exist anyway: so why don't we accept them at their face value.

FACT # 1. There is a huge, constantly growing number of men in the USA and many other countries of the world who want to have a family - and nevertheless stay single. By some estimates in the United States they account for as much as half of the male population. Those men are also quite broadminded and do not mind international marriage.

FACT # 2. There is a very large number of beautiful, eligible, well-educated Russian girls who are interested in marrying men who are mature and serious about family. To their misfortune, the current situation in Russia has drastically cut down on the pool of eligible men they might draw from. Hence, many of the Russian women strive for building a family and raise children in a more stable environment than Russia can currently offer. This is a perfectly normal and healthy strife, and is only a compliment to your potential "other half’s" stamina and vitality.

Now, one may ask WHY RUSSIANS? Don’t all women want the same?

I do not want to comment on that for the risk of infuriating too many of the "weaker gender". Instead, I would rather give you FACT # 3: 

THREE MAIN REASONS
why American bachelors should be interested in meeting Russian women.

Russian women are beautiful, sexy and good-humored;

Russian women are not concerned with “sexism”. In fact, they are appreciative of men who behave like ones and who encourage femininity in their women;

Russian women do not sue their boyfriends, ex-husbands or presidents.

Make up your mind!

Overcoming cultural differences and homesickness

If after all you decided to thwart the search of your ideal bride to Russia, you have to be aware of some cultural differences. You may be concerned about possible homesickness after your Russian spouse will have moved to your place in the USA.

Let us start with the cultural differences. Now, don’t be taken aback: the primary source of differences is you yourself! You have to realize this in order to get rid of the following typical false assumptions

• I am a very average American man, why would a handsome Russian girl care for me?

• I am over fifty (or forty, or thirty), that is perhaps far too old for her…

• I am not rich, so she won’t want me!

• I have been married before and have children, that is not what women are looking for…

• I live in a very small quiet town, it isn’t any thrill to any woman…

• Internet introduction is gonna cost me nothing!

If you do not have those, skip this part, lucky you! If you share some of the above misconceptions, read the following both with your eyes and heart.

Russian women seek respect, understanding and economic stability. They would not be interested in marrying a jobless person, and hardly a sophomore student. However, this by no means implies that you have to be rich: a reasonably comfortable living that most steady jobs in the US provide would meet their expectations. It anyway would be a better living standard than that she might expect marrying in her homeland. Yet, you have to realize that building up a relationship with an intention to marry will cost you money. Your introduction agency is hardly not-for-profit, you will have to face expenses on e-mail (probably accepting the ladies charges after a while which would be very nice of you and appreciated), occasional gifts, visit to Russia, fiancee visa and wedding later on… The good part is that it would cost you only a fraction of what a free quest for a wife usually takes!

Russian women are smart and realize that what they seek seldom comes with the men in their twenties, so do not worry too much about the age difference of up to 20 years. If you are 50+ and are interested in marrying a 20-year old girls your chances become slim but not hopeless. Your looks are important to an extent. The ladies are not after a movie star, so it is not about your beauty. It is about decency – a Russian woman appreciates tidy clean appearance and elegance. Do not send her your pictures where you are unshaven or look messy – that would not be good for the relationship you might want to develop.

You being single or divorced is not that important at all. Having children is not a hindrance either. Moreover, if you were raising children as a single father, your Russian wife would wholeheartedly do her best to become a good mother to your kids. Accordingly, she would expect you to act likewise to her child if she has one. Still, Russian women believe that mutual children are the cornerstones of a strong family, so assume that your Russian wife would be eager to bear a child for you. If you do not intend to have children with her, make it clear from the very start to avoid disappointments. Also, she would probably not be happy if you maintain close relations with your ex-wife – having family dinners with your previous spouse may not be a very popular idea with your Russian wife.

Living in a small quiet town may be a disadvantage in the eyes of a young girl coming from Moscow, St. Petersburg or another major megalopolis. Since most of the brides come from smaller cities, they will fit in your environment pretty well. Of course, as your wife the woman would expect to have some social life , be introduced to your relatives and meet your friends, enjoy some American entertainment with you, and have an opportunity to see larger cities of the USA – that is only natural, isn’t it?

Homesickness and Career

Moving over to you, your fiancee will be living behind her many friends, parents and life which she is prepared to give up but to which she is used. Probably, a job, too. She will find herself immersed in a friendly environment speaking a different language and experiencing different strains and stresses. She would be willing to adapt, learn the new ways, overcome her homesickness and merge in. It is not something of paramount difficulty, the world has been intermarrying for thousands of years, but your wisdom and help can make this transition much smoother. Here is some advice you may use:

1. Do not make a problem out of the poor English your girl may speak. Like few Americans have any command of the Russian language, the same way there are not too many eligible and worthy Russian women who speak or write good enough English. They have just never had a reason to learn a foreign language. Encourage her at the stage of correspondence, help her when she arrives – immersed in the American culture, having perhaps attended the new immigrants language courses that are available and free in most cities, she will become fluent in 3 months – can you wait that long?

2. Do not press the point about a career that your wife might start in the USA. She does not realize what life is like in your country, she does not know how women combine family and work in the USA, she can hardly guess how her professional skills might be put to use in your state. Time will show. Russian women are used to working and like to work. But they also like to entertain an idea of dedicating themselves fully to their home. Let this settle down with time.

3. Encourage her to call her parents and friends in Russia. She may be shy about it. The current telephone rates are as low as 35 cents a minute, so you definitely can afford an hour a month to keep your wife happy.

4. Food is one of the factors that in the long run can unbreakably foment the relations or shatter them. Eating traditions are very different in Russia. The best line of attitude here would be to give your wife the lead. She will most probably start with trying American restaurants with you upon the arrival, then continue with acquiring strong repulsion to fast food and insisting on doing most of the cooking at home, and later retreating to a compromise between both. Be tolerant and agree with what she feels. It is not too difficult, especially so as most Russian women are great cooks!

5. Make a list of Russian holidays and your wife’s special dates, and use those dates as an extra opportunity to greet your wife and give her a gift or flowers. Let her feel that you respect her and her origin.

6. Religion is rather a thing of soul than a manifestation or function to most Russians who are historically Orthodox Christian. Not too many attend services on the regular basis, and when they do, the rites in Russia are quite different from what you probably have at the church that you go to. Be delicate about this, do not compel her to do it the way you do – Christianity is about love and tolerance after all, isn’t it?

Starting and building up a relationship

I assume that you are considering writing a letter to one (or several) Russian ladies whom you have found on one of the many Internet sites. That means that you are facing a courtship by correspondence. You will judge and be judged by what the paper or electronic pages convey. You would not be wasting your time and money unless you were not after a result: that is, finding the one to share your life with. So do not be casual with what may alter your whole life!

Staying romantic, let’s be prosaic for a moment. There is basically only one course for a successful relationship to develop: CORRESPONDING – MEETING – CORRESPONDING – GETTING MARRIED. Why don’t we walk (virtually!) through these 4 stages.

1. The best way to build up a fruitful relationship would be to start your correspondence in a friendly, sincere manner, exchanging pictures at the first opportunity and trying to find out more about each other. Do not rush things, but do not be too slow either. The odds are that your contact is in correspondence with other men, so beware the competition! This stage may last for about 6 months, you exchanging 2 letters each way a month.

Unless your pen pal lady is really proficient in English, we strongly recommend you to have the correspondence translated. Good, clear and precise rendering of thoughts and style is crucial at the beginning, it is really instrumental in establishing initial contact, reaching first understanding and buffering possible cultural differences.

Plan for some progress in your relationship, build a strategy to win her heart and affection. Be courteous and gallant. Send her a birthday greeting. Women love to receive flowers. Or a small gift. Or a postcard. Any nice something that could warm up her heart and give her a proof that you really are as caring and outgoing as you have written in your profile, and that you do take your relationship seriously. As your relationship evolves, send her more pictures of yourself and your family, your favorite places. Ask for more pictures from her. Come to know each other’s tastes.

2. If after a while you start feeling that you and the girl are getting closer, it is probably time to start talking about meeting in person. This step is bound to cost you time and money. You may be very busy, but we still strongly advise you to spare at least one week and visit your pen pal. It is much better if it is you who pay the first visit, and not the lady. There are several reasons to it. For one thing, the girl's budget is definitely tighter than yours. You can afford staying at a hotel when you arrive in Russia. She most probably cannot, and will have to stay at your place. Which leaves her very little room for backing out if actual things do not seem as they did in letters. Another reason is that when in Russia you may explore several introductions. For the girl, you would be her only option in America. And last but not least, getting a US visa is a next to impossible task for a single Russian female, unless she qualifies as a fiancee. Whereas you can easily avail of a Russian tourist visa through your agency.

Meeting your lady in Russia means that you have to make a trip, hence, all necessary travel arrangements. Russia is an exciting country to visit. However, it is essential that you have a standby support of a reliable Russian tour operator - only a Russian company would be able to handle problems should they occur (God forbids!) during your visit. Most agencies would offer you their travel services, but few of them know enough about tourist business and do not qualify as travel agencies. A sloppy travel agent can ruin months of work and turn a happy rendezvous into a mishap. So, when the time comes, be prudent about choosing your Russian travel agent who should be one-stop service for you, from entry visa and transportation to a romantic dinner in a cozy Russian restaurant, tickets to the Bolshoi ballet, interpreter or whatsoever.

3. After that wonderful week or fortnight together you each return to your confines and think it all over again: do you really want to be together for good? Are you really meant for each other? You exchange a few letters, and decide you cannot waste any more time apart. You spend more time on the phone and your telephone bill grows. You start working on obtaining the fiancee visa. When it comes down to that, your agency must be able to give you some helpful hints, or refer you to a lawyer who never takes a no for an answer.

4. Then come your marriage and post-marriage situation. Just keep in mind what you have read above, and stay in touch with your agency: they should stay kind of a family counselor to you. You may and will be encountering situations when a friendly professional advice will be needed – call the one that you trust! We shall be honored if you choose us.

Avoiding scams and heartbreak

In a situation of high demand and offer, many of the introduction agencies are real professionals who have to perfect their services in view of the competition. Many, however, are hardly more than mere scams selling stale or bogus addresses to the army of bachelors.

It is hard to instruct you how to tell a serious agency from a fictitious one. Use your own common sense and judgment. Good indices of a sound introduction agency would be:

• Existence of actual offices in the USA and Russia (do not trust the P.O.B. kind of addresses);

• Ability to furnish a Russian entry visa, as well as to have it registered in Russia (which would mean they are full-fledged in Russia too);

• Price range of travel services in line with the current rates offered by travel agents;

• A telephone number where you can talk with a live person rather than the voice mail;

• Reasonably good English and adequate translation services;

• Better not trust companies that hint at a possibility to have a "sex tour" (unless you are looking for one).

Should I mention that Love Span enjoys all the above advantages?

Please, take the introduction to a lady across the ocean seriously: after a while, even by correspondence, you and she get emotionally involved, expectations arise – that is called "falling in love"! An abrupt, rude termination of correspondence is very painful, it may hurt the counterpart real bad and result in loosing any wish and hope to continue seeking love and happiness.

Finally, there are some things that normally a Russian woman would not tolerate: she would not consider a candidate with an alcohol or drug problem, they do not accept bisexuality, they would hardly marry a man with a criminal record. Among the features that the Russian culture traditionally despises are avarice, frugality and meanness. If you are used to a secluded way of life, better stay single. If you are prepared to expand your life and start a real family, do marry a Russian woman.

In return, your Russian wife will be prepared to fully dedicate herself to her husband, back you up under any circumstances and be happy of making you happy.